Problems We Generally Don't Have in America

I think I'm sensing the start of a new series here. How's this for a story:

Only two memories brought tears to Sun Yaoting's eyes in old age -- the day his father cut off his genitals, and the day his family threw away the pickled remains that should have made him a whole man again at death.

While we're dealing with a potentially very painful type of injury where even reading about it will make most guy's knees buckle, there's this from Denmark:

A patient broke wind during surgery and set fire to his genitals. The 30-year old man was having a mole removed from his bottom with an electric knife when his attack of flatulence was ignited by a spark. His genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught fire.

Granted, I suppose that last one could happen in America, but thankfully I've heard of no recent examples.