Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican

My fellow SCBA buddy John over at Blogotional had this on his site today and it was too good not to borrow:

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:

The situation: You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a loaded Glock .40 caliber pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:
-Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
-Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
-Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
-Could we run away?
-What does my wife think?
-What about the kids?
-Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
-What does the law say about this situation?
-Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
-Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
-Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
-Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
-If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
-Should I call 9-1-1?
-Why is this street so deserted?
-We need to raise taxes and make this a happier, healthier street to discourage such behavior.
-This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading)....BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"