Shouting "BOMB!" on a Crowded Airplane

Mark Steyn writes today about the nutjob Iranian president's latest threats and the rest of the world's curious responses:

Happy Easter. Happy Passover. But, if you're like the president of Iran and believe in the coming of the "Twelfth Imam," your happy holiday may be just around the corner, too. President Ahmadinejad, who is said to consider himself the designated deputy of the "hidden Imam," held a press conference this week -- against a backdrop of doves fluttering round an atom and accompanied by dancers in orange decontamination suits doing choreographed uranium-brandishing. It looked like that Bollywood finale of ''The 40-Year-Old Virgin,'' where they all pranced around to "This Is The Dawning Of The Age Of Aquarius." As it happens, although he dresses like Steve Carell's 40-year-old virgin, the Iranian president is, in fact, a 40-year-old nuclear virgin, and he was holding a press conference to announce he was ready to blow. "Iran," he said, "has joined the group of countries which have nuclear technology" -- i.e., this is the dawning of the age of a scary us. "Our enemies cannot do a damned thing," he crowed, as an appreciative audience chanted "Death to America!"

The reaction of the international community was swift and ferocious. The White House said that Iran "was moving in the wrong direction." This may have been a reference to the dancers. A simple Radio City kickline would have been better. The British Foreign Office said it was "not helpful." This may have been a reference to the doves round the atom.

You know what's great fun to do if you're on, say, a flight from Chicago to New York and you're getting a little bored? Why not play being President Ahmadinejad? Stand up and yell in a loud voice, "I've got a bomb!" Next thing you know the air marshal will be telling people, "It's OK, folks. Nothing to worry about. He hasn't got a bomb." And then the second marshal would say, "And even if he did have a bomb it's highly unlikely he'd ever use it." And then you threaten to kill the two Jews in row 12 and the stewardess says, "Relax, everyone. That's just a harmless rhetorical flourish." And then a group of passengers in rows 4 to 7 point out, "Yes, but it's entirely reasonable of him to have a bomb given the threatening behavior of the marshals and the cabin crew."

That's a pretty fair analogy. Every day for a week or more we've been treated to new boasts and claims by the Iranians, which culminated in the nuclear dance-a-thon we saw the other day. Just a day or so later he claimed that Israel would be "destroyed in a single storm". Well, there's only one way to destroy a country in a single storm, and that's with nuclear weapons. This guy clearly feels that it is his destiny to be the guy who pulls the trigger on a nuclear attack. (For more information on the wacky theology behind the Iranian president, here's a good article that explains it.)

Despite the unveiled threats, Tony Blair has apparently told the Bush Adminstration that he will have no part of an attack on Iran. I'm sure Tony is feeling the political heat. For Blair's sake I hope the Iranians don't decide to try a test shot in London someday.

Whether the U.S. would try to go it alone and take out the Iranian nuke plants ourselves, or stand back and let Israel do it, is yet to be seen. Given the rhetoric, I'm sure that one or the other is going to happen.