HolyCoast: The Black Knight of Florida
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Friday, May 11, 2007

The Black Knight of Florida

This guy would be perfect for Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
Authorities were led on a high-speed vehicle chase by an armless, one-legged man, and they said this wasn't the first time the 40-year-old eluded police.

Michael Francis Wiley taught himself to drive after losing both arms and a leg in an electrical accident when he was 13. He spent time in prison for kicking a Florida Highway Patrol trooper after an accident in 1996. He led police on a 120 mph chase in 1998.

On Tuesday, Wiley sped off in a Ford Explorer when police approached him at a convenience store, New Port Richey police Capt. Darryl Garman said. Officers pursued, but called off the chase after eight minutes because they did not want to put others in danger, Garman said.

Wiley was arrested the next day on charges of fleeing from police and habitually driving without a license. He also is awaiting trial on separate drug charges and traffic violations. He faces up to five years in prison if convicted.

Why the Holy Grail? Because of the Black Knight:
The Black Knight is a fictional character in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He is, as his name suggests, a black knight who guards a tiny bridge for unknown reasons. Although supremely skilled in swordplay, he suffers from unchecked overconfidence and a staunch refusal to ever give up. Though he only appeared in one scene, he has gone on to become one of the most popular characters of the entire film.

In the film, King Arthur (Graham Chapman), accompanied by his trusty serf/steed Patsy (Terry Gilliam), is traveling through a forest when he enters a clearing and observes a fight taking place between a Black Knight (John Cleese) and a Green Knight (Gilliam again) by a bridge over a small stream. After an exhausting fight, the Green Knight decides to run straight at the Black Knight with an axe, arms above his head. The Black Knight throws his sword through the Green Knight's helm's eye slot. The Green Knight thus slain, Arthur and Patsy ride up to the Black Knight to congratulate him and invite him to join the Knights of the Round Table at Camelot. The Knight is silent and does not acknowledge their presence. Arthur regrets this ("You make me sad. So be it.") and makes to continue his journey over the bridge, which the Knight then prevents ("None shall pass."). Arthur attempts to negotiate, but the Knight does not move.

Another sword fight takes place between the Knight and Arthur, which is interrupted when Arthur chops off one of the Knight's arms. The Knight denies the injury, protesting "'tis but a scratch!" Arthur points out that the Knight has just lost an arm, which the knight categorically denies again. When Arthur points out the Knight's severed arm lying on the ground, the Knight contemplates it for a moment, then smoothly replies "I've had worse.", then Arthur replies "You Liar!" and resumes the attack. The Knight eventually loses his other arm and his sword as well. Arthur kneels to pray, thanking God for his apparent victory, but the Knight begins kicking Arthur, yelling "Have at you!" Arthur (trying to make the Knight see sense) says "Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left", and the Knight replies "Yes I have" Arthur says "look", "It's just a flesh wound" says the Knight and continues to kick and taunt Arthur. He loses one leg to Arthur's sword, but insists on continuing the fight, hopping about on his remaining leg and crying "Right! I'll do you for that! Come here!" Arthur, completely fed up by this point, sarcastically remarks, "What are you going to do, bleed on me?" to which the Knight screams "I'm invincible!" Arthur replies "You're a loony!" The Knight is still intent on fighting Arthur, hopping up against him and madly proclaiming "The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!" Arthur finally hacks off the Knight's remaining leg.

After Arthur has hacked off all of his limbs, the knight looks down at what remains of his body, then looks up at Arthur who congenially declares "All right, we'll call it a draw." Arthur and Patsy resume their journey, while the Knight fumes impotently at them. "Running away, eh?! You yellow bastards, come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!"[1]

Those two have a lot in common.

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