Country Music Tour Postponed Due to Excessive Boobage

Now, there's a headline I never thought I'd write, but here's the story:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Dolly Parton's breasts may be two of the wonders of the entertainment world, but the country music icon says they are a pain in her back.

Parton, 62, said on Monday she would postpone her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back.

"Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems," the folksy singer-songwriter said in a statement.

I guess I shouldn't criticize, because until you've walked a mile with Dolly's........ oh, you fill in the rest.