There's No Crying in Racing

I spent my Sunday watching 1,100 miles of racing. It's one of those days that makes the TiVO well worthwhile - I didn't watch a single commercial.

The Cup race at Charlotte went about as expected, with surprise twists and turns along the way and another win by Kasey Kahne. Tempers stayed relatively in check and not a single driver cried. I can't say the same for the Indy 500.

The 500 is the only open-wheel race I watch all year, mainly because it's the only one that anyone shows up for. You could fire a cannon into the stands at most IndyCar races - several times - and not even scare anybody, let alone hurt them. But Indy always draws a big crowd and occasionally there's good racing.

There aren't any women drivers running in NASCAR's highest level, but there were at least three that I know of in the 500. And it was two of those drivers that made the day entertaining.

The first was Sarah Fisher, running a team that she owns and runs on a shoestring budget. Sarah appeared with Hillary Clinton for a campaign photo op a few days before the Indiana primary. During the race Fisher had the misfortune to try and share the same point in space with the race leader, who was spinning across the track at that moment, and both were put out of the event. Tony Kanaan, the other driver, was interviewed following the crash and had a typical race driver's attitude. He was disappointed, a little ticked, but had that "we'll get 'em next week" attitude. He also told the interviewer that he had ridden in the ambulance with Fisher, and although she was unhurt, she had sobbed the whole way.

A few minutes later they interviewed Fisher. Her eyes were all puffy, and before the interview was over, she was sobbing again. Now, I know she was disappointed and her team took a shot it probably can't afford, but sobbing on camera is not how you attract sponsors. There's no crying in racing (unless you're the wife or girlfriend of the winning driver, or your leg is hanging by a tendon out the other side of you car).

At least she didn't have to be put down like the horse Hillary endorsed in the Kentucky Derby.

A little later driver Danica Patrick, the media darling, was making her way down pit road after a routine stop when another driver fishtailed as he exited his pit and smacked Patrick's car in the left rear and broke the suspension, putting Patrick out of the race. The crew pushed the car back to her pit, where she got out and began stomping her way down pit road toward the offending driver, whose crew was trying to repair his car. She wasn't crying, or at least I don't think so, since she still had her helmet on (if you're going to confront another driver and his team, it's always better to keep your helmet on).

Here's where it got almost funny, but dangerous at the same time. Patrick's P.R. person, another women, though of considerably heftier dimensions than the diminutive Patrick, jumped over the pit wall and began running after the stomping Patrick. The P.R. person clearly was not in the kind of shape that she should have been running anywhere, especially down pit road in the middle of a race. She had no protective equipment whatsoever, save her determination to come to the aid of her client. Fortunately, she didn't get more than a couple of pits before a crewman from another team pulled her over the wall and off the racetrack. If I were in charge of IndyCar, that team would have a penalty for her foolishness.

Patrick was stopped about one pit stall short of her target by the guy who heads up security for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, and the whole entourage stomped off toward the team's pit. It was quite a comical site, with big burly P.R. lady pushing the pressies out of the way like a linebacker opening a hole for the quarterback.

You just don't get that kind of entertainment at a NASCAR event.