Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Gourmet Boutique Recalls 286,000 Lbs. of Meat, Poultry
"I remember that meat - wasn't it a little green?"

Ark. Survivors Sift Through Storm Wreckage
"Shem, Ham, Japheth - you guys look over there. The Big Guy wasn't kidding when he said there was gonna be a flood."

Big Brown Wins Derby, Runner-Up Dies
The Kentucky Derby or the Indiana Primary?

Artist Fights to Display Muhammad Art in Netherlands
Let's hope he keeps his head about him.

Michelle Obama: Barack has hit boiling point
And everyone's been telling us that McCain is the one with the hothead.

Sharpton Announces 'Pray-In' to Protest NYPD Killing
God announces an "Ignore-In" for Al Sharpton.

Surge in fatal shark attacks blamed on global warming...
YAAAAWWWWWNNN. Everything gets blamed on global warming.