Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Villagers Beat to Death Tiger That Killed 3 People, 5 Goats
I bet they were more upset about the goats.

Wal-Mart Blamed for Early Birth
Lower prices and shorter gestational periods.

British Police Reportedly Chase UFO
Probably just another drunk soccer fan.

River Brings Unwelcome Surprise
Water.

Beyond That Hump, It's the Inside That Counts
A primer for Arabs looking to pick out just the right camel.

Obama raps McCain on flood prevention programs
Not being the Obamessiah, McCain can't control the weather.

Nation's fifth-oldest giraffe dies at Phila. Zoo
Don't order the "Chef's Surprise" at the Philadelphia zoo.

Board votes to fire 'cross branding' teacher
It's hard to argue against that decision.

Paul Supporters Fall Short in Montana
Ron Paul goes 50-for-50.