The New Drug of Choice - Hopium

John Kass of the Chicago Tribune describes the new wonder drug sweeping the nation:

Hi, my name is John. I'm a hopium addict.

It's true. Yes, I'm a journalist. And that led to the harder stuff. Then one day, Barack phoned the Tribune and called me "bro."

Now, I'm addicted to hopium.

So if you're addicted to hopium, or you're worried that your loved ones might fall prey to its power, then please click on this link for the hard left's Moveon.org commercial for Barack Obama .

"I never thought it could happen to me," says a shaggy blond-haired surfer dude in the ad, a guy who should have carried a bong.

"I've been living with it for a while now," says a young woman, talking as if she'd contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

That's how they discuss hopium. Like a disease. But they have nothing to be guilty about. It's not some disease that cranky old Republicans can't get because they stopped having sex.

It's hopium.

Once you see it, you won't be the only one addicted to hope. You'll all become addicted—you, your family and friends, even your pets, except for various crustaceans in your aquarium, which are immune. But you and yours are not immune. You'll all become hope-heads, together.

It's America's most powerful drug. Once on hopium, you won't care if Iran has nukes or if taxes are raised during a recession or whether Obama keeps flipping and flopping on everything from foreign wiretaps to withdrawing troops from Iraq.

Who cares? Relax. Hopium is your friend.

Isn't it ironic that this column comes out the same day the Cheech and Chong announce a reunion tour? Maybe instead of dope jokes they can do hopium jokes.