Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

26 Texas Cheerleaders Squeeze Into Elevator, Get Stuck
The clonking sound made by their empty heads knocking together alerted security.

32 Lab Monkeys Accidentally Heated to Death
Darned global warming.

Detroit Mayor Freed, Then Charged
Just another day in the Motor City.

Russia, Georgia Battle Over Breakaway Republic
No word yet on whether the Braves game will have to be cancelled.

Obama: No Fear of Trouble From Hillary Backers
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Obama’s Muslim Connection Won’t Go Away
Once your relatives move in it's hard to get them to leave.

Random House Pulls Novel on Islam, Fears Violence
Violence from the Religion of Peace??

An asteroid cop gets ready to patrol
"I want to see your provisional designation, registration and proof of insurance."

Air-Rage Accusation Lands Megachurch Pastor in Court
Blessed is he whose wife can control herself when flying first class.