Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Ohio executes man who argued he was too fat to die
I still think it was worth a try.

Woman, 90, Dies After Crashing New Sports Car
I think this goes in the "bad birthday gift" file

14-Year-Old Shot 3 Times While Toilet Papering House
I bet he won't do that again.

Man Tapes Woman's Mouth Shut to Make Her Listen
Hmmm....... Did it work?

Ringo Starr: Don't send me any more fan mail
He still gets fan mail?

Pirates Don't Blow Up Hijacked Ship as Promised
I hate it when pirates don't keep their word.

Authorities shut down vast spam operation
Good. I never could understand how people could eat that canned crap.

Rep. Mahoney Calls for Probe of Affair Allegations
If he had kept his probe where it belonged he wouldn't have gotten in trouble.

Joe Biden looks... different...
Botox, baby, botox.

Bush Pledge: 'Government's role will be limited and temporary'...
Yeah, just like every other government program.