Massive Fake Earthquake Hits Los Angeles!

At 10 am a massive 7.8 fake earthquake hit Los Angeles and Southern California, devastating the entertainment capital of the world. People in other parts of the country can begin their fake celebrations, but for those of us suffering this fake disaster, we have work to do:

At 10 a.m. today, an estimated 5.2 million people around Southern California will drop to the ground, roll under the nearest table and spend the next two minutes clutching a table leg.

The drill is the centerpiece of the Great Southern California ShakeOut, a weeklong series of events designed to educate and remind the public about how to respond to a large earthquake.

Organizers say such reminders are important because the 22 million people who live and work in Southern California haven't experienced a major earthquake since 1994.

Emergency responders don't save the majority of lives in earthquakes, experts say.

"Ninety-five percent of all victims are rescued by other victims," said earthquake scientist Lucy Jones, who is coordinating the U.S. Geological Survey's Multi-Hazards Demonstration Project. As part of the ShakeOut, about 300 scientists, engineers and economists recently mapped out a disaster scenario in which a magnitude 7.8 earthquake, originating near the Salton Sea, would strike Southern California, with shocks north and west along the San Andreas fault -- and leave Los Angeles without water, power or navigable freeways.

Such an earthquake, they estimate, might cause about 1,800 deaths, 50,000 injuries and $200 billion in damage.

After today's "Duck, Cover and Hold On" drill, nearly 4,000 people from 100 local, state and federal agencies, including the military, in 12 counties in Southern and Central California will rehearse their emergency responses under a statewide program called the Golden Guardian. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger launched Golden Guardian in 2004 to improve preparedness for disasters such as terrorist attacks and large toxic spills.

The Golden Guardian exercises will cost about $5 million, to be paid by federal grants, said Jay Alan, spokesman with the governor's Office of Homeland Security. But if practicing helps save lives, it's well worth it, he said.

My understanding is that an earthquake like that would result in ground shaking for up to 2 minutes, though women with breast implants (which are legion around here) could expect to shake for as long as 10 minutes, thus providing an entertainment angle to the whole event.