Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

REPORT: Postal Service Looks To Cut 40,000 Jobs; First Layoffs In History...
Employees will be notified by email.

GORE: USA needs 'emergency rescue of human civilization'...
I don't think he even knows what he's talking about anymore.

Portable Nuclear 'Hot Tubs' Could Power America
Will they have those powerful jet massagers?

Mysteries From the Deep: New Ocean Creatures Found
Al Gore immediately declares them endangered.

Palin returns to a changed Alaska
Darn global warming.

Are you ready to go on a carbon diet?
Try the charcoal chips, they're good with onion dip.

Profit at Starbucks Drops 97% in Quarter
Wow. They might have to start overcharging for their coffee.

Michelle Obama has her own transition to work out
From housewife to queen.

Rifts Displayed by Huge Brawl at Jesus Tomb
Good thing Jesus wasn't there to hear all the ruckus.

Fewer jokes in Obama White House? Comedians wonder
Nope, he seems to be hiring lots of jokes.

Dick Morris: Obama Appointing Beltway Has-Beens
See item above.

Olbermann Re-Ups with MSNBC for 4 More Years
Gluttons for punishment.