Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Drunk Nebraska Man Assaults Wife for Macaroni Dinner
I think I would have held out for a dessert too.

Listening to Music May Make Heart Stronger
Listening to Rap music may make ears deafer.

Cheney, Biden Meet to Discuss Transition
Discuss what? How to attend foreign funerals?

Obamas Discuss Public School for Daughters
Then laugh derisively while filling out the paperwork for the hoity-toity private prep school.

McCain: Palin Didn't Hurt Republican Ticket
Palin: McCain Hurt Republican Ticket

NAACP: Expel NC Students for Racist Obama Graffiti
Sorry, racism ended Nov. 4. Now it's political speech and that's protected.

Gay Marriage Ban To Hurt Calif. Economy, Mayor Says
Maybe in San Francisco. They should have gone ahead and legalized prostitution to make up the slack.

Michael Jackson gives Neverland to corporation
But he gets to keep the little boys.

After Calif. loss, gays get right to wed in Conn.
Go east, young men (and women that look like men), go east!

Mitch Mitchell, drummer for Jimi Hendrix, found dead
We're putting the band back together!

Indians Put Off by Perceived Slights From Obama
Great Half-Paleface speaked with forked tongue.