Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Pirate ‘Mother Ship’ Sunk
Consider their timbers shivered.

Medic's Account Confirms Hitler Had Only One Testicle
It must have been all that teasing in the locker room that turned little Adolph into such a cranky old coot.

World Toilet Day to Promote Sanitation, Fight Disease
And I didn't get you anything...

Arachnids in Spaaaace: Spider Missing Aboard ISS
That's gotta give them the creeps.

Shot Girl's Dad: I Drank Vodka as I Cleaned Guns
Alcohol and gun cleaning, always a good combination.

Scientists Find New Penguin, Extinct for 500 Years
I don't think they were extinct.

Israeli Air Force 'ready for Iran's nuclear sites'...
I'll bet they are.

Big Three Auto Execs Flew in Luxury Jets to Seek Multibillion-Dollar Bailout
Adventures in tone deafness.

eHarmony.com to match 'gays'
There goes the endorsement from James Dobson and Hugh Hewitt.

N. Korea enraged by launch of ... Gospel gas balloons
Over here we call them "televangelists".