Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Caught in the Act: Star Circles, Gobbles Up Planet
Rosie was still ticked that her special tanked in the ratings.

Police: Man Shot Sister's Boyfriend With Arrow
Suspect goes by the nickname "Cupid".

FBI Agents Swarm to Arrest Alabama Mayor
The sound of banjos made the agents a little antsy.

Scientists Turn Ph.D Topics Into Music Videos
I can't understand rap songs now. I can't imagine doctoral theses would be any better.

Luxury Cruise Ship Attacked, Outruns Pirates
"That's avast cruise ship, ye maties!"

Rush Limbaugh Endorses Hillary for Cabinet
Operation Chaos continues.

Arabs Not Happy With Sec. of State Hillary
The Arabs are never happy.

Wash. Post, NY Times Want Rangel to Step Down
Count me in on that one.

Stress takes toll on Obama, develops chronic facial tic
We'll call it "Hillary".

Lawyer: Trampled NY worker lacked crowd training
How much training is required to know that you shouldn't get run over by 2,000 wild-eyed Wal-Mart shoppers?