The Audacity of Unrealistic Expectations

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, so I've decided to become one of the throngs of Obama cult members on this historic day. I now believe in hope and change, change and hope, and more hope and more change. I proclaim my belief in the audacity of unrealistic expectations and confess Barack Obama as my personal Abraham Lincoln.

I will no long judge a candidate by the content of their character, but will look only at the color of their skin as the mainstream media did. I will write fawning articles devoid of objectivity and common sense solutions, ignore actual market dynamics, embrace the theology of man-made global warming, and will put my faith entirely in government, high taxes, and socialism to solve all of our problems.

And, joining with all the others who are letting the Obama mythology cloud their thinking, once Obama is sworn in at noon I expect the world's problems to be solved by 12:15. 12:30 at the latest.

I expect to hear that the oceans have begun to recede, our enemies have fallen in love with us, bin Laden has organized his goats to spell out "Obama" on his latest video, the Iranian president has converted to Judaism, and Vladimir Putin has resigned in shame. Anything less will destroy my sense of self-worth which is tied up completely in the success of Barack Obama. He must succeed immediately because I don't have time to look for a new Messiah.

Ah, what a relief it is to cast your fate to the winds of hope and change. All that thinking was getting quite tiring.