Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Yacht killer described as caring Christian
The Bible never said "Thou shalt not kill yachts".

Obama says America will be back
Right after this word from our creditors.

HEARST Plans to Sell or Close SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE Newspaper...
The last five subscribers will be very disappointed.

URGENT: HOUSE PASSES BILL BANNING CHIMPS AS PETS...
Can they still be used in cartoons...or Congress?

Oslo looks more like 'Ice Age'; City resorts to 'dumping truckloads of snow in sea'...
Won't that raise the sea levels?

Topless 'Over 18' Cafe Gives New Meaning to Cup Size
Does "Venti" describe the coffee or the waitress?

School Spends $10G to Teach Spanish Kids Spanish
Some jokes write themselves.

Bernanke: Recovery Possible In '09 If Programs Work
We're screwed.

Gay Remark Stops Utah Legislature Business
They had to look it up to see what it meant.