Don't Give the Money Back

The testimony before Congress by AIG chief Edward Liddy included some really dumb stuff:

WASHINGTON: As the lucrative bonuses paid to employees of the American International Group fueled fresh outrage at the White House and on Capitol Hill on Wednesday, the embattled chief executive of A.I.G. said that he had asked some recipients to give at least half the money back.

The chief executive, Edward M. Liddy, made the announcement during his testimony on Wednesday afternoon before a congressional committee investigating the problems at the company.

"I have asked the employees of AIG Financial Products to step up and do the right thing," Mr. Liddy told lawmakers. "Specifically, I have asked those who received retention payments of $100,000 or more to return at least half of those payments."

The A.I.G. chief said that some bonus recipients had already offered to give up all of their payments.

Fools. I wish I was one of those AIG execs getting one of those bonuses. If they came to me and demanded I give up 1/2 of a bonus earned as part of an employment contract, I'd tell them where to put their request.

For fun, let's just pretend I am one of those guys, and I've been called to task before Barney Frank's Banking Committee:

Barney Frank: (lisping) Mr. Moore, did you receive a bonus payment from AIG?

Rick Moore: You betcha.

BF: Are you going to give it back?

RM: Fat chance. I met my responsibilities according to my employment contract. AIG must meet theirs.

BF: Have you no shame taking this money from taxpayers?

RM: Have you no shame after creating this entire banking collapse?

BF: (now lisping and spitting) We will taxth you and get all that money back!

RM: Go ahead. You think I'm afraid of some congressman who has never run anything but his mouth his entire life? If you try and tax this money I'll have you in federal court so fast the spit from your latest lisp won't even have hit the floor yet. By the time I'm done having your new tax law declared unconstitutional I'll not only have all of my money, but a lot of yours too. Go for it, Barn!

BF: (spit)(lisp)(stutter)(stammer)

That would be so much fun. Here's more on the potential legal swamp Barney Frank is wading into.