Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Disney Co. announces goal today to eliminate all waste
Tourists will be required to go potty before they enter the front gate.

56%
My 55% presidential approval rating by April 15th prediction is looking like a sure thing.

OBAMA: NO CLONES!
Clones can't read teleprompters very well. We're stuck with the real thing.

Recession on track to be longest in postwar period...
If Obama keeps trying to be FDR we can assume this recession will last until the next world war.

CNN Correspondent Now the Communist Candidate in El Salvador ...
And you thought "Communist News Network" was just a joke.

WIKIPEDIA scrubs Obama page clean of critical entries...
Somehow I doubt if most people consider Wikipedia the final authority on all things Obama.

More Americans say they have no religion...
John Lennon's inane lyrics are slowly coming true. And the part about imagining no country is looking more realistic every day.

Angry Chimp Proves Primates Can Make Plans
But can it write a stimulus bill?

National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers
According to tradition celebrants should leave a flaming bag of dog poo on the doorstep of the abortion clinic nearest you.

Obama makes Oval Office call to reporters; Thought they were joking about socialism question...
After Joe the Plumber you'd think he'd take questions about socialism very seriously.

16 arrested in fight at nonviolence concert
Sometimes the jokes write themselves.