Conservatives Refuse to Fund Health Care for Children

How are they refusing? By quitting smoking:

Thanks to President Barack Hussein Oteleprompter's promise to not raise taxes on any family making under $250,000 a year (or $200,000 as an individual), some friends and I have decided that it's a good time to quit using tobacco products. Because, after all, the new tobacco taxes only affect the rich. Or at least they will, because now only the rich can afford them.

On Tax Day Tea Party Day, we are giving up smoking. Wish us luck!

Personally, I'll start by going cold turkey. If it gets to be too much to bear, I'll try the patch or the gum. I'm not all that comfortable looking at Chantix or other things of that sort.

But we will not, after the 15th of April, contribute to the S-CHIP program by purchasing another tobacco product. I know, we're cold hearted bastards for not wanting to provide government run health insurance to children up to age 30.

Of course, that will also take away funding for California pre-K education and other programs that are funded on the backs of smokers, most of whom are lower income.

The poor people will have to smoke more to make up for the funds that won't be raised from people who refuse to support health care by smoking. And yes, that sentence is as silly as it sounds.