Summer Jobs For Teen Losers At Your Expense

Jules Crittendon has the details:

Got a teen who needs a job this summer? Help is on the way. Yes, he or she can. Here’s what they need to do.

Stop studying. Get pregnant. Get court-involved. Offend. Drop out. Run away. Forget you ever knew English. Be from elsewhere.

Boston Herald:

Criminal offenders, teen moms, dropouts, runaways and other wayward youths will score summer jobs with federal stimulus cash as most Bay State kids desperately scramble to land coveted seasonal gigs in a tight economy.

“To me, it sounds like the federal government is rewarding bad behavior,” said state Sen. Richard R. Tisei (R-Wakefield).

The state Department of Transitional Assistance will be using some of Massachusetts’ $1.3 million in Obama administration cash for jobs for clients’ children ages 14 to 24 who meet specific criteria, including:

-Lacking basic skills.
-Pregnant or parenting.
-School dropout.
-Homeless or runaway.
-Court-involved or an “offender.”
-An English as a Second Language learner or an immigrant.

Hey, whatever happened to the Marine Corps as the premier government-subsidized job opportunity for the court-involved, basic-skills lacking, runaways, drop-outs and immigrants?

Never mind. Parents, you can do your bit for your child aged 14-24 by encouraging the above behavior through action or inaction. Though like getting your kid into an Ivy League school, if you didn’t start that process at birth you’re already behind the curve. You and your kids may be too responsible to benefit from government stimulus funds.

Meanwhile, if you have been a responsible parent, your kid is probably out of luck.