Fly Family Seeks Damages

Only Iowahawk could come up with this:

WASHINGTON -- The widow of the housefly murdered by Barack Obama during a recent CNBC television interview announced this morning that she would be filing a wrongful death suit against the President in federal district court. The plaintiff brief -- citing pain, suffering and loss of income -- seeks a formal apology and an unspecified quantity of s***.

"Bob was wonderful husband and provider," said the widow, Mrs. Vivian Vvzzvzwwzzz, wiping tears from her compound eyes. "Even though he was always busy at the Rose Garden t*** pile, he always flew home in time to tuck in our maggots."

The 17-day old widow said the grieving process since the murder has taken its toll.

"Although it's been nearly 48 hours, I still get an empty feeling in my thorax everytime I think about it," she said. "I feel like I've aged an entire week. Mating season is over, and here I am, stuck trying to raise 532 larvae on my own."

Vvzzvzwwzzz described the "abdomen-wrenching horror" she experienced while watching the President casually assassinate her husband during the live broadcast.

That photo above is the grieving widow. The language can be a little rough (I cleaned it up a bit in the excerpt above), but it's really, really funny. There's a lot more here.