Taxpayers Would Rather Have 60% of Toyota

Scott Ott offers one of his classic pieces in the Washington Examiner:

As the U.S. government escorted General Motors into bankruptcy court Monday with a deal giving taxpayers 60 percent of GM stock, a new survey reveals that most Americans would rather own a majority equity stake in Toyota.

According to a new Gallup poll, 87 percent believe Toyota's stock to be a better deal than GM's, due to the superior safety features, reliability and even the design of the Japanese equities.

A White House spokesman said, however, that the President Barack Obama has taken the AFL-CIO pledge to "Buy American" as the federal government takes over automakers, financial firms and other companies along a broad spectrum of business and industry.

As a result of Monday's move, a turnaround at the new GM suddenly seems imminent.

"Ever since the president started leaning toward purchasing General Motors," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, "other countries have shown increased interest in buying American. Of course, as a celebrity, President Obama's purchase will influence other world leaders to snap up American companies as well. It's going to be the new cool thing to do."

"When the federal government buys a U.S.-based company," said Mr. Gibbs, "it's like a vote of confidence in the American worker and in good old Yankee ingenuity. Plus, tax dollars earned here get spent here, and thus they return to the monetary cycle as wages and ultimately, as union dues. In other words, 'What's good for the country is good for the UAW'."

The White House said the new General Motors eventually will sell nothing but fuel-efficient, low-emission 'green vehicles'. In the meantime, the 2010 GM models already in production will simply receive "an aspirational coat of green paint."

"In future years," said Mr. Gibbs, "the president's car company hopes to create vehicles that provide all of the speed, range, comfort and safety of old-fashioned internal combustion models, without being constrained by out-dated rules of physics which President Obama inherited from his predecessor."

There's more truth in this satirical piece than we might think.