I Passed!....I Mean My Daughter Passed!

Passed what? Her driver's test, which was as much a victory for me as it was for her. I've finally gotten both kids through the process. The boy got his license last October and now she's got hers. Good thing too, because in about 9 days she leaves for college and will be taking a car with her. Not this one, but one with a similar color:

I have to tell you that if you're looking for some cheap entertainment, try going down to the DMV and sitting where you can watch the driver test area. It's never ending drama, hilarity and outright danger. Here are a couple of stories from what I saw during the 90 minutes or so I was there.

The Persian Princess

Sitting in a car next to us was a teenage girl and her dad who appeared to be of Iranian descent. During the first part of the driving exam the examiner walks around the car and has the driver demonstrate that various safety items are working, such as turn signals, lights, and last of all the horn. The lady examiner asked the girl to sound the horn and nothing happened. They started the car and still no horn.

Automatic fail (well, not really a test failure, but they won't take you out unless everything is working, meaning the test has to be rescheduled). Needless to say, neither the girl nor her father took it well.

After arguing with the examiner (never a winning strategy) the girl started sobbing, and when the examiner walked away she started pounding on the steering wheel in a fit of rage. Yeah, I want her out there driving on the same roads with me.

Maybe 15 minutes later they showed up again in another car and demanded to take the test. The examiner once again reminded them that they had their chance and would have to reschedule. Again, more anger.

Amazingly, they apparently bullied someone inside into putting them back in the queue because as we were leaving their car was back in the testing area and they were waiting. I can't help but wonder if all the examiners may have secretly told each other that whoever gets her...fail her. That would have been my approach.

The Kamikaze

While we were waiting for our test a Lexus drove in piloted by a young Japanese teen and her obsessive father. After lurching into the parking space the dad got out, examined the car, and made her back up and try again. He did that four times. That would have caused me to fail her right there.

While waiting the dad walked around the car with a spray bottle and a towel carefully removing every speck of dust from the vehicle.

The driving part of the exam finally started and I could just tell from the way she crept from the parking lot that she didn't know what she was doing. The father practically ran alongside the car as it left, and then perched himself on the hillside where he could see the car driving off.

Maybe 15 minutes later I see the Lexus come lurching around the corner, dragging the rear wheels over the curb, and with the examiner reaching across to grab the steering wheel.

Needless to say, if the examiner has to save you from an accident, you're not going to pass.

As the father walked up to the car the examiner got out with a smile on his face as he shook his head "no". I think for a moment there he saw the bright light coming his way.

Very entertaining.