Dumbbell

During the last 45 days I've had two long sessions in the emergency room at Mission Hospital when my dad was taken there. I saw a number of cases come in while we were waiting for him to be assigned to a room, but I never saw anything like this:

In a case of do-it-yourself male enhancement gone awry, a local man had to be hospitalized after a metal dumbbell ring became stuck on his penis and caused the organ to swell to five times its normal size, authorities report.

The incident, first reported by the Daily Pilot, began with the man’s ill-conceived attempt to enlarge his penis and ended Tuesday in a Newport Beach hospital room, where rescuers sawed the ring away and spared the man’s member.

Keith Jones, deputy fire chief in Costa Mesa, said the ring had been stuck below the belt for as many as three days, and that the man initially resisted treatment. “This was a patient that was obviously having some other issues,” Jones said.

The man, described as middle-aged, eventually relented and allowed city urban rescue experts to remove the ring in a two-hour, ultra-delicate procedure involving a pneumatic chisel that sent sparks flying around the operating room, Jones said.

The man’s condition isn’t known, but Jones said it appeared he remained fully intact. “I know (rescuers) felt that what they had to do, they did it effectively,” he said.

How the firemen were able to keep from laughing out loud I'll never know. But I'll bet everyone in the department has had a good laugh since then.