Real men don't like going to church because they don't want to "sing love songs to a man", because the "vicar wears a dress", because they feel like "mongrels on parade at Crufts" and because they want to be waited on by women rather than queue for coffee after the service.On this side of the pond lots of churches have sought ways to a man's heart, usually through sports. Holding Super Bowl watching parties in the sanctuary, various sports and activity clubs for the men in the church, and even things like the car show I attended at Saddleback Church last year (they do one every month).
A number of distinctly non-pc ways to get men back into church are among those being advocated by a charity, Christian Vision for Men, which has discovered that the Church has lost nearly half of its men aged under 30 because it has become too feminine.
The charity admits some of its ideas might not be seen as politically correct.
But on a questionnaire on its website aimed at finding out why so many men have left church, they suggest a number of ways of making men want to return to church again.
These include redesigning the interiors of church buildings to make men feel more at home.
Instead of the usual flowers and statues of the Virgin Mary, they suggest, "How would it go down to decorate with swords, or pictures of knights, or flaming torches?"
The charity continues: "Maybe it's not 'politically correct', but men quite like the attention of women! They also like to be waited on - so long as they are not made to feel guilty. Instead of having to queue for coffee, why not ask some of the women to go round with trays of coffee and biscuits or chocky bars? Coupled with a charming smile, many men would find that very attractive!"
Then there are the hymns, or modern worship songs, themselves.
Quite apart from the sheer embarrassment of having to sing out loud when the tune might go too high or be in an unfamiliar key, the charity advises clergy just to look at the words.
"Jesus, I am so in love with you," or "Beautiful one I love, beautiful one I adore," - many men wouldn't sing that to their wives, let alone another man, the charity advises.
It continues: "The image of church is 'women and children' - action songs or kid's plays just emphasise this. The decoration is often very feminine - flowers, embroidered banners. The vicar often wears a dress... It can be embarrassing to be next to someone in uninhibited delight of worship, or in tears."
Men don't want to feel brainwashed by reciting words that they don't believe: "The language can be offputting, even the word 'love' has undertones of the love of a man for his woman - they'd rather 'admire' or 'respect' another man. Think how they will respond if called to be Jesus's lover, or to be 'intimate' with him. Don't play into Satan's hands by using language that he has corrupted."
Among the changes recommended by Christian Vision for Men, a member of the Evangelical Alliance, is to use the World Cup to boost falling congregations. The charity wants vicars to erect big screens above the pulpit during this summer’s World Cup in South Africa and even serve beer during games.
As I read this I was struck by the notion that some men are bothered by the lyrical content of the music. I've been in church all my life, and have sung gospel music for going on 36 years but never thought of myself singing "love songs to a man". That must be a more recent phenomenon.
Chances are the problems in the UK are more related to the general secular attitude of that society and the wishy-washiness of their Mother Church, a church that seems more interested in encouraging the incorporation of Sharia law and foreign customs or politically correct social attitudes into the society than it does in worshiping God. A church that doesn't seem to stand for anything will not be attractive to men.
Your thoughts?
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4 comments:
I have long wondered if churches were losing men by giving power to women. What may have begun as attempts at greater equality have led to men voting with their feet. Interestingly, the politically incorrect scriptures put all the decision making into the hands of men. Is it for the sake of human nature? I don't know.
Being of the female persuasion, I'm reluctant to surrender my liberty, but I think that churches need to become paternal again.
Activity to make the men feel like men? How about the heavy lifting? Give the guys plenty of stuff to do for which they're likely to experience little competition from women. And let them show off while they do it.
Nothing wrong either with sending men out to do difficult evangelism, the sort that only men can do -- talking to man to man to other guys.
Just a thought.
I agree with Ann. Too many of our churches have surrendered the man's God-given roles to women. So far, our church still has a male minister, males on the board, and the 'let' the women teach the younger ones, clean, and cook for pot lucks! Neither my hubs or myself like the 'new' songs that are sung in church. Give us the old hymns!
Men love their sin more than God and this is yet another is their weak excuse for rebellion against God. Men give up their roles because they are not in church. If they were there in their leadership roles church would be more masculine. Men, man up!
As a Brit, a man, and through my ministry am invited to numerous churches and Christian groups, I suggest this article applies mostly to mainstream (Anglican) religion. I was recently invited to present Scriptures to a group of Street Pastors (magnificent ministry!) where the organising committee consisted of 5 women with butch haircuts. I felt very uncomfortable, and not very welcome.
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