Haiti is the New Rehab

S.E. Cupp writes at the Daily Caller:

In other news, it’s official: Haiti is the new rehab. This week professional welterweight pugilist Naomi Campbell announced she’s following in professional welterweight whore John Edwards’s slutty footsteps—yes, footsteps can be “slutty”—by planning a humanitarian trip to the quake-ravaged country. Atonement by way of rubble-framed photo-ops with third-world babies has to be the lamest attempt at public attrition since Gary Hart did a cameo on “Small Wonder.” Okay, so that didn’t happen, but wouldn’t it have been fantastic?

Tiger Woods has apparently hired Ari Fleischer to craft his comeback from utter perdition, uniting one of the stupidest people on the planet with one of the smartest. I imagine Ari’s already booked Tiger a flight to Port-au-Prince, where he and Charlie Rangel can get a timeshare. Dr. Drew and Gloria Allred should set up annex offices in Haiti, so that folks like Charlie Sheen, Eric Massa and Lindsay Lohan can still check their meds and book media appearances while atoning in town.

It does appear that certain celebrities, in need of some good publicity, tend to find themselves in disaster zones. It does make you wonder about their motivations.