Today's Quick Hit Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Pelosi: Unemployment Checks Fastest Way to Create Jobs...
Unemployment certainly will lead to some openings in Congress.

NY gov to veto 6,900 bills...
About time.

Huge homeless tent city takes root in Hawaii...
Can we call it "Obamaville"? 

NJ Town Suing Homeless Squatters Camping In Woods...
If a squatter camps in the woods but nobody hears him....

Phil Jackson Returning as Lakers Coach
Three-peat.

Gore 'unequivocally and emphatically' denies...
(wagging finger) "I did not try to have sex with that woman...the masseuse".

EPA ruling leaves 125 oil refineries in limbo...
Obama will not be happy until he has completely destroyed the oil business in this country.

Florida school district bans Bibles on Religious Freedom Day...
Sometimes the jokes write themselves.

40 million swine flu vaccine doses go to waste...
The Chicken Little crowd really fooled us on that one.

Congress may consider bill requiring cancer warning on cellphones...
Does this mean they won't be able to advertise on TV anymore?

California welfare recipients use strip club ATMs...
Hey, lap dances are a civil right!

Maggots force plane back to gate in Atlanta...
You wouldn't think maggots could get past those eagle-eyed TSA screeners.

Budget Air: $7.50 to fly standing up, $1.50 for the bathroom...
Is it cheaper if you go to the bathroom standing up?

Singer murdered after denying he was dead
He was psychic. Just not a very good one.

Being American is 'not a matter of blood or birth'...
Coming from Obama that's just plain hilarious.

NO WE CAN'T: 'Our borders are just too vast...'
And our president is half vast.