Never Bring a Long Beard to a Fistfight

It can give someone else a handle to grab onto:

A 64-year-old woman fought off a neighbor and dragged him out of her house by his beard after he let himself into her Kansas City home and took his clothes off.

The woman said she awoke about 12:50 a.m. Tuesday to find her neighbor standing over her naked, according to court records. He allegedly grabbed her arm and said he was “just being friendly.” The woman grabbed his beard and dragged him to the door in the 3200 block of Oakland Avenue. As she tried to throw him out, he allegedly grabbed the woman’s throat. She picked up a tape measure and bonked it against the neighbor’s head three times. He then left.

Now you know why I keep mine trimmed short.