Today's Quick Hit Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

China Buys Up More US Debt...

Suckers.

Soros: China has better government than America...
Wait until we tell them we're not going to pay them back.

TSA chief: Patdowns are 'proper mix' of passengers' rights and security...
GET READY: NOW PUTTING HANDS DOWN FLIERS' PANTS!
I have the right to let some TSA janitor with a badge put his hands down my pants?

Panic in Trinidad after 'devil attack' at school...
I hope the devil has to go through TSA security to get back to hell.

Romney Gearing Up For Second Run?
I hope not.

Emanuel: I never believed in bipartisanship...
I never believed Emanuel believed in bipartisanship.

RANGEL GUILTY OF ETHICS CHARGES...
Won't matter.

Dog who survived Afghan war, melted hearts on Oprah, mistakenly put down at animal shelter...
Nothing funny about this one, just a terrible mistake.

Principal refuses to allow ambulance on remodeled field for injured player...
I bet they get a new principal to go with their new field.

Colder winters possible due to 'climate change'...
Anything's possible due to 'climate change'.

OBAMA SET TO LEAVE COUNTRY -- AGAIN...
Can we move the country before he gets back?