Today's Quick Hit Headlines

Got a busy day today, so here are some quick hit headlines:

Campaign ad says Romney wouldn't have ordered raid to kill Osama bin Laden...
Correction - Mitt wouldn't have taken 18 hours to make the decision.

FLASHBACK: Obama '08 Accused Clinton of Using Terror Leader To 'Score Political Points'...
When you're had one success in four years, I guess you can't be blamed for flip-flopping on your ethics.

CHICAGOLAND: Teacher tells students NRA wants 'porch monkeys' to die...
I'm not putting up with monkeys on my porch either.

Biden to donors: 'You all look dull as hell. Pretend to like me!'
Sorry, after all these years it's just not possible.

Egypt plans 'farewell intercourse law'...
In America we call it "marriage".

Woman kills man by squeezing his testicles over parking dispute...
Farewell intercourse.

Astronomers find new planet capable of supporting life...
Let's send all the global warming freaks there.

CHARLIE COOK: President 'Metrosexual'...
"Metro"?

Jellyfish-Like Organisms Shut Down California Power Plant...
Democrats?

Foot-long cannibal shrimp invade Gulf waters...
And they said the oil spill would kill all the Gulf shrimp.

COPS: Man forced to moonwalk dance at gunpoint...
Did they make him grab his crotch too?

'Obama attempts to intimidate contributors to Romney's campaign'...
This will easily be the dirtiest presidential campaign in history.

White House Gives $192M to Palestinians...
Stimulus for terrorists.

State seeks okay to kill federally-protected bird in order to protect endangered fish...
Quit protecting them and let nature do its thing.

Woman tries to 'live on sunlight'; dies...
Follow the light...follow the light...

Feds eye nationwide law banning cell phone use while driving...
And this will become the most violated law in history...other than the speed limit.