How About a Nice Hand for Allah!

Is there a question? I see a hand in the air:

In a surreal scene, police said a man purposely cut off one of his hands in a Springfield butcher shop Saturday evening.

The grisly incident occurred in Super Halal Meat along the 7000 block of Spring Garden Drive, which bisects Brookfield Plaza, home to numerous Asian, Indian and Middle Eastern eateries and markets.

"I'm still numb talking about it," said Vikas Sinsunwal, who saw the man after he severed his hand.

Sinsunwal said he was outside his parents store, Niralla Sweets, when the man, announcing "I did this for Allah," approached his parents' shop lifting his bloody left arm into the air.

[...]

However, local NBC 4 News reported the man, while waiting on his order of goat meat, walked behind the butcher shop's counter and sliced off his hand presumably with an electric meat cutter.

(Booming voice from the heavens) And Allah thanks you. In honor of your devotion, I shall give you a new name worthy of your sacrifice. From this moment on you shall be known by your holy name....Lefty.

And before you show any further devotion, remember, the virgins like a man with a slow hand, not a man with no hands. They get enough of those from the suicide bombers.