Here's How You Solve the Pirate Problem

Back in the glory days of LAPD when Daryl Gates was Chief there was quite an armed robbery problem in liquor stores in Los Angeles. Gates wasn't interested in "dialogueing" with the robbers to find out why they did what they did, nor was he interested in whether they grew up in poverty or had bad parents. He was interested in stopping them.

So, Gates created teams of officers whose job it was to hide in selected stores where there was a high possibility of a robbery, and when the bad guys showed up the cops shot them dead. Oh, I'm sure they yelled all the things they're supposed to yell when confronting an armed robber, but my guess is the time between the yelling and the shooting could be measured in nanoseconds. A lot of robbers found themselves at the Pearly Gates that way (no pun intended).

I once met a guy who had been on one of those teams. He'd killed five robbers himself. I guess that made him an ace.

We should identify some high profile ships that are likely targets for these pirates, even if we have to borrow them for awhile as decoys, and sail them into harm's way with teams of heavily armed Navy Seals on board. Their orders: Don't take prisoners.

When approached by a wannabe pirate crew the response should be simple: Don't stop shooting until everything on the pirate ship is dead. Then sink the ship and let the sharks feast.

Since there are apparently a lot of pirates, there should be a lot of ships and teams involved. Mix up the types of vessels used so the pirates never know which one has an armed response waiting for them.

It may not stop the pirate problem, but it will certainly thin out their ranks.

Of course, none of this will happen with the current administration, but we can still dream.