I Can't Believe It - I Agree With The ACLU

You can probably count on one hand the number of times I've agreed with the ACLU. They're usually out there trying to destroy American values in the name of liberty, and if they went out of business tomorrow, I certainly wouldn't miss them.

However, I have found something on which we agree. Airport searches have gotten completely out of hand (sorry Bob if you're reading this - I know you TSA guys are just doing your jobs). I have no problems with the usual screening that's been going on for some time, but ever since the two Russian airliners were downed by women who hid explosives somewhere on their person, some passengers have been subjected to additional screening that, if done by any other stranger, would result in somebody getting arrested for molestation. Women are basically being groped, and as a husband of one woman and the father of a 16 year old daughter, I'm not sure just how I'd react if my family were subjected to something like that. Let's just say I'd probably miss my flight.

The ACLU has actually created an online form for passengers who wish to file complaints about the way they were handled, and as much as I hate to admit it, I support that idea. Sometimes authority needs to be challenged, even if what they're doing is supposed to be for our own good.

The airline security situation has evolved since the early days after 9/11. I remember taking 6 flights over 4 days in early 2002 as my quartet traveled to Texas and Oklahoma. We had to take off our shoes and there always had to be at least one person in the security area receiving special screening - a complete search of their bags as well as a wand search of the individual. We saw a couple of interesting things during that trip, and also learned how to avoid those "special" searches.

I quickly learned that the worst place to be was at the head of the line to board, because invariably they grabbed the first guy and made him go off to security. As soon as that guy was searched, they'd grab the next guy in line and take him. All you had to do to avoid the extra searching was wait until the grabbed someone and then quickly get in line. You were sure to be on the plane before they finished and started looking for another victim.

At Dallas we were waiting for our flight to Oklahoma and met a young college student who had been traveling all day from the east coast. She had taken several connecting flights and had been subjected to "special" searches 5 times. Did I mention that she was very attractive and wearing a rather low-cut blouse? Now you know why the special searches. Apparently this is the only way the screeners at that time could meet attractive women.

I told the guys to be sure and get in line behind the girl, because she would undoubtedly be selected for another search, and while that was going on we could get on the plane without any hassle. Sure enough the overweight pimple-faced security screener selected the cute blond for the additional search and we laughed all the way down the jetway.

In Oklahoma City we all started boarding the regional jet when the gate agent got mad because no one was in the special screening area. She said something to the "security" guard there (basically a janitor with a badge) and the guard grabbed the next person in line - a 4 year old boy with a backpack. They actually searched the kid's backpack and made him stand there with his arms out and be subjected to a search. It was absolutely ridiculous and the kid was clearly scared.

On a trip last year to Dallas I got a bit of a first hand look at the TSA in action. I was carrying my quartet briefcase through security at DFW when they asked to check it through the explosives detector. To my surprise the alarms started going off and I was suddenly the center of attention. They made me sit in a special area under the watchful eye of a TSA supervisor and wouldn't let my wife talk to me. They asked me all kinds of questions about what was in the bag and why I had been in Dallas.

That morning I had attended church in Allen, TX with the friends we were staying with. I remember walking across a grassy area at the church that had recently been fertilized (I could smell it). Some of the fertilizer got on my shoes, and when I packed those shoes in my suitcase, some of it probably got on my hands which then transferred the nitrates to my briefcase. The explosives detector picked up the nitrates and set off the alarms.

I patiently sat there for 20 minutes or so and answered all of the questions and helped them search the briefcase. They finally agreed that I was not a threat and let me go. We were early for our flight, so the extra attention wasn't much of an inconvenience, and I learned to always wash my hands before heading for the airport.

Seriously though, I'll be flying with the quartet to Texas in January, and with the whole family to Washington D.C. next summer, and it wouldn't bother me one bit if the TSA was told to throttle back the groping a little bit.