Howard the Donkey - Translated

We've got some new sound bites from the GOP's greatest asset, Howard Dean. Let me see if I can translate them for you:

HOWARD: "My view is that Fox News is a propaganda outlet for the Republican Party and I don't comment on Fox News.''

TRANSLATION: "I commented on Fox News before I was against commenting on Fox News."

HOWARD: "I do not want to hear any more about Ken Mehlman going to African-American churches."

TRANSLATION: "There's only room for one master on this plantation, and I'm it."

HOWARD: "That kind of stuff has been going on all week. And I am not answering that question."

TRANSLATION: "Stop asking me why I say stupid things."

HOWARD: "Congressman Jackson does not have to speak for me. But the truth is, you don't get to speak for me, either."

TRANSLATION: "You'd be hard pressed to come up with anything dumber than what I come up with."

HOWARD: "Let me remind those Republicans,'' he said, that the Bible mentions helping the poor "3,000 times. I have not yet seen gay marriage mentioned in the Bible. That is a Republican issue.''

TRANSLATION: "We'll just ignore that part about homosexuality being an abomination since that would sort of rule out the concept of gay marriage."

I'm sure I'll have more of these in the coming days.