Explaining Men to Women

A hat tip to JollyBlogger for pointing out this Rick Reilly article in Sports Illustrated in which Rick attempts to explain men to women. The last time I had Reilly in this blog it was for an article he wrote on his flight in a Navy F-14 Tomcat. I'm still laughing over that one.

Here are a few of Rick's questions and answers:

Q: Why can my husband discuss the Vikings for two hours but us for only two minutes?

A: Men like things simple. Black/white. Win/lose. But relationships are gray/slippery. Not once has a ref brought the two coaches together and said, "While it's true you won 49-0, I felt the way you treated him in the third quarter was a projection of your own insecurities, so, actually, you lose and he wins. Shower up."

Q: Why did my husband cry when the Red Sox won the Series but not at our wedding?

A: If you had turned him down for 86 years, he might have.

Q: Do men consider belching a sport?

A: Yes.

Q: What's the deal with men and the remote?

A: See, when we were boys, we had popguns, dart guns, BB guns. Now most of us only have the remote. It feels good in our hands. We're not switching channels to see what else is on, we're shooting the thing that is on. Bang. You're dead. Next victim.

Q: My boyfriend is constantly saying, "Hold on, Honey, only a minute left in the game." Twenty minutes later it's still on. How fricking long is a sports minute?

A: An NFL minute is 17.3 minutes in real time. An NBA minute is 43.8. Neither of these, though, is as long as the "I-only-need-a-minute-to-fix-my-hair" minute. When men hear that, we take our coats off and finish doing the taxes.

How true, how true.