CBS To Lay An Egg This Fall

CBS Television plans to come at viewers "sunnyside up" this Fall with a new promotion:

IN September, CBS plans to start using a new place to advertise its fall television lineup: your breakfast.

The network plans to announce today that it will place laser imprints of its trademark eye insignia, as well as logos for some of its shows, on eggs — 35 million of them in September and October. CBS’s copywriters are referring to the medium as “egg-vertising,” hinting at the wordplay they have in store. Some of their planned slogans: “CSI” (“Crack the Case on CBS”); “The Amazing Race” (“Scramble to Win on CBS”); and “Shark” (“Hard-Boiled Drama.”). Variations on the ad for its Monday night lineup of comedy shows include “Shelling Out Laughs,” “Funny Side Up” and “Leave the Yolks to Us.”

George Schweitzer, president of the CBS marketing group, said he was hoping to generate some laughter in American kitchens. “We’ve gone through every possible sad takeoff on shelling and scrambling and frying,” he said, adding, “It’s a great way to reach people in an unexpected form.”

Newspapers, magazines and Web sites are so crowded with ads for entertainment programming that CBS was ready to try something different, Mr. Schweitzer said. The best thing about the egg concept was its intrusiveness.

“You can’t avoid it,” he said.

For years we've been dealing with the Virgin Mary showing up on burritos and such, and of course we recently had the Allah Egg, so I guess we shouldn't be surprised that CBS sitcoms might start showing up in egg cartons.

In addition to eggstraordinary television, CBS plans to bring us "solutions" on the new Evening News broadcast with the perkie Katie (from Drudge):

'We heard from many people that the news is just too depressing,' Couric told Television Critics Association's Press Tour on Sunday. 'Now obviously we can't sugarcoat what's going on in the world, But there are cases where I believe we can be a little more solution-oriented'...

I have a solution - don't watch CBS.