I'll Have a Pepperoni and Goat Elastic Loaf, Please

Iranian President and resident madman Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, always on the cutting edge, has ordered changes in the language of his country:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has ordered government and cultural bodies to use modified Persian words to replace foreign words that have crept into the language, such as "pizzas" which will now be known as "elastic loaves," state media reported Saturday.

The presidential decree, issued earlier this week, orders all governmental agencies, newspapers and publications to use words deemed more appropriate by the official language watchdog, the Farhangestan Zaban e Farsi, or Persian Academy, the Irna official news agency reported.

The academy has introduced more than 2,000 words as alternatives for some of the foreign words that have become commonly used in Iran, mostly from Western languages. The government is less sensitive about Arabic words, because the Quran is written in Arabic.

Among other changes, a "chat" will become a "short talk" and a "cabin" will be renamed a "small room," according to official Web site of the academy.

Of course, these are the same people who have a creative meaning for "Pepsi" too.

And in keeping with the trend, the mainstream media has jumped in and declared that "Muslim terrorist" will be changed to "person with history of mental illness".