The Official HolyCoast Primary Endorsements

Being a powerful, influential member of the political media (yeah….right), it’s time for me to throw my prodigious weight behind the candidates in two key Dem primaries who will best serve the interests of the Republican Party and the American people. So, with no further ado (because if there's one thing I can't stand it's a lot of ado), here are the official HolyCoast primary endorsements.

First up, the Dem Senate primary in Connecticut between three term incumbent and former Vice Presidential nominee Joe Lieberman, and the nutroots favorite single issue challenger, Ned Lamont.. May I have the envelope please….

{drumroll} And the winner is….One-Note Ned Lamont! {thunderous applause – orchestra strikes up Patty Cline’s Crazy}

I can hear the palms of your hands slapping your foreheads all the way out here on the left coast. “What has Rick been drinking?”, you’re crying. Let me explain.

Why Ned? Very simple. If Neddie wins, Joe Lieberman will then run against him in the general election. The Republican (whoever that is) still doesn’t have a chance, and Lieberman should beat Ned handily in November, but because Ned’s their man, the Dems will have to devote a significant amount of money to his campaign lest they tick off the nutroots who have been promoting him. If the Dems fail to show proper allegiance to their chosen candidate, the nutroots will go…. well, nuts and that will cost the Dems dearly. They simply can’t afford that.

Any funds spent by the Dems to promote Ned cannot be used to promote Dems in down ballot races, such as the three Republican House seats they’ve been coveting. A Lamont candidacy dries up some of the money that could have been used had Lieberman won the primary.

Devious, ain’t I.

And now, the Dem House primary in Georgia’s 4th Congressional District between cop-slapper incumbent Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney and the almost life-like challenger Hank Johnson. May I have the envelope please….

{drumroll} And the winner is…..Cynthia McKinney! {thunderous applause – orchestra strikes up Charlie Daniels’ Devil Went Down to Georgia}

Stop slapping your foreheads – I know what I’m doing here!

Once again, reality tells us that no Republican is going to win in the 4th District. It has been very successfully gerrymandered to ensure that only a Dem, and only a black one at that, can win. Therefore the question becomes which Dem will do more to help the Republican Party?

Cynthia McKinney wins, hands down. Who would you rather have representing the Dems in Congress – a somewhat stiff but sane Hank Johnson who might actually help the Dems pass their agenda, or a completely wacko Cynthia McKinney who marginalizes herself and her party every time she opens her mouth?

I was still somewhat on the fence until I read Ms. McKinney’s closing statement at last week’s candidate debate. She said (h/t Powerline):

Thank you very much. An ordinance which was found unconstitutional written by an attorney. Dr. King reminded us that the measure of a man is where he stands in challenging controversy. I stand. Alongside our troops and our veterans, working families, and Mr. Clark, who could get no help from Mr. Johnson when his land was swallowed up by a landfill. Eisenhower reminds us that every dollar spent on war is a theft from the people. And I have brought more than $350 million. Send me back to Washington, so I can speak truth to power. [sic, sic, sic, and sic]

That did it for me. Go Cynthia!

Tune in Wednesday and we'll see how we did.

ELECTION NIGHT UPDATE - MCKINNEY GETTING SKUNKED, LIEBERMAN LOSING!