Dream With Me About Nov. 8th

To any of you conservatives out there who are planning to stay home on Nov. 7th to "punish the GOP" for sins real or perceived, dream with me about what could be on Nov. 8th if you do your duty and vote:

[Begin dream sequence music] It's early morning and on all the morning shows (except Fox and Friends) the anchors have that far-away look of incredulity. Just days before the polls had shown that the Dems were in for a big day, taking maybe 25 seats in the House and sweeping the Senate as well. And yet, the day after, something's wrong. The Dems only gained 9 seats in the house, 3 in the Senate, and both are still firmly under GOP control.

Flashing across the screens are the stricken images of Howard the Donkey Dean, San Fran Nan Pelosi, and Harry "Slots" Reid, all of whom were supposed to be celebrating their victory and newly won leadership positions. There is already talk of replacing all three with "someone, anyone who can beat the GOP".

The Washington pundit class, who were so sure of themselves yesterday, are trying desperately to come up with a combination of words that will make them look the least silly. It's a losing battle.

In the blogosphere the lefty moonbat sites are screaming with conspiracy theories about rigged voting machines, disenfranchisement of minorities, and "why can't we ever win?". Urban legends about evil Republicans are being spawned and will keep the moonbats busy for at least another two years. It's a beautiful thing to watch.

Mainstream bloggers from both left and right, who just yesterday had predicted doom and gloom for the GOP, are in full CYA mode and are suddenly claiming that they were suspicious of the polls all along and the results really didn't surprise them.

Wall Street rallies, stocks soar, and investors worldwide profit. Higher taxes will not be coming in the next two years. The economy will continue to boom.

And overseas, our enemies are despondent. Terrorists and political crackpot leaders will not have the support in Congress that they had planned on. Damn those pollsters and the people who lie to them! May Allah rip out their spines and beat them over the head with them. It was all going to be so easy.

And at the White House, Karl Rove, Ken Mehlman, the Vice President, and the President, lean back in their chairs, raise their coffee mugs in silent toast to one another, and go on with the business of winning the war on terror.

Folks, all this can be yours if you just do your part.