Today's Animal News

Important news from the animal world:

Dog owners in Middletown (NJ) are being advised to tie a bright bandanna around their canine companions so the animals aren't mistaken for a coyote.

Ugly women wearing bright bandannas are advised to remove them to avoid being mistaken for dogs.

Meanwhile, man is responsible for destroying the planet, but so far can't figure out how to get two whales out of the Sacramento River:

Marine biologists said Thursday that they planned to spray fire hoses in a river near two lost, injured whales in the next attempt to coax the pair back toward salt water.

The method has never been tried before, and biologists don't know how the whales will respond Friday. If the whales like the spray, crews will try to lure them back to the ocean; if they hate it, they'll try to force them there.

"No one has done this before," said Frances Gulland, who is leading the campaign to move the pair back to the ocean. "At this point, we don't know if it will be a deterrent or an attractant," she said.

Biologists planned to spray near the whales both above water and underwater from the deck of a boat on the Sacramento River. The approach comes after attempts to lead them back to sea using the sounds of clanging pipes, feeding humpbacks and killer orcas failed.

Have they tried harpooning them and dragging them back to the ocean? That's how we used to move whales around.

In Los Angeles, Reggie the wayward alligator has finally been captured:

A 6 1/2-foot alligator believed to be the elusive "Reggie" who lurked in a park lake for two years was captured Thursday in a wrestling match with a reptile expert and rangers. ...

The cold-blooded creature was sunning itself in an area fenced in several days in hopes of corralling it. Park officials closed a gate, and Los Angeles Zoo reptile expert Ian Recchio was able to put a hook around its neck.

"Then one guy laid on top of him. He was thrashing around, so four or five guys held his head and tail to get him contained. They managed to put duct tape around his mouth," Hahn said.

Hahn was certain the alligator was Reggie.

He ended up in the lake when a former police officer dumped him there because he got too big. For two years they've had that nasty duck problem under control at Lake Machado. Now they'll have to come up with something else.

The local news ran this story as it happened, including helicopter shots of the Animal Control truck speeding down the freeway toward the L.A. Zoo. It was O.J. all over again, though this time with fewer dead people.

Finally, from Taiwan:

An orangutan escaped from a Taiwanese zoo and terrified patrons at a nearby restaurant Wednesday, overturning picnic tables and motorbikes and forcing terrified diners to cower inside the eatery.

The orangutan, who pushed his way out of his cage before wandering into the restaurant, was subdued when an official shot him with a tranquilizer dart. He was carted off for treatment in the scoop of a small bulldozer.

Wednesday's incident occurred six weeks after a 440-pound crocodile chewed the forearm off a veterinarian at the same zoo. The vet's limb was reattached in a seven-hour surgery.

They probably ought to rethink the whole petting zoo concept over there.