Great Moments in Local Government

Are you hankerin' for a late night weenie roast? Feel like scorching some brats for an evening snack? If you live in Canonsburg, PA, you'll break the law if you give in to your cravings:

Canonsburg Mayor Anthony Colaizzo issued an executive order this week banning the use of grills -- propane, charcoal and wood -- after 8 p.m. in this town of 8,825 known for its grandiose Fourth of July parades.

He outlawed all recreational fires "until further notice," according to the edict posted on the borough's Web page. First offenders will be given a warning, and repeat offenders could be fined up to $300.

The mayor's ruling: wildly unpopular.

"What is this, Socialist China?" said Teresa Matuska, 53.
"This must be a joke," added Rose Terkay, 51. "There are many more things that need to be watched other than if I make a hot dog or a piece of kielbasa after eight."

Colaizzo did not return calls Wednesday night, and nobody was at his home.

Lou Marra, 72, who attends every council meeting, said the mayor issued the order Monday night after Canonsburg resident Dave DiTullio complained that a neighbor constantly starts fires next door, sending smoke onto DiTullio's property.

One of the problems with local government, whether it be small towns or homeowner's associations, they tend to attract people who have never had any other real power in their lives. Once they get a taste of a little bit of authority, they go nuts and before you know it they're trying to regulate everything in sight.

There's an easy way to beat the grilling ban in Canonsburg: Simply get the outraged citizens organized and have everyone agree to fire up their grills at the same time on the same night and start calling the cops with complaints. The police will be overwhelmed chasing after these "illegal" grills and I guarantee you the regulation will be quickly revoked.