Texas to Europe: Go Back to Your Quiche Eating

Texans are a pretty independent bunch. They were, after all, an sovereign nation when they elected to join the growing United States, and to this day they retain the right to fly their flag at equal height to the Stars and Stripes - the only state allowed to do that. You can imagine then how they reacted to the news that the European Union was demanding that Texas halt all executions as the state prepares to rid itself of its 400th perp. Gov. Rick Perry's office issued this statement:

“230 years ago, our forefathers fought a war to throw off the yoke of a European monarch and gain the freedom of self-determination. Texans long ago decided that the death penalty is a just and appropriate punishment for the most horrible crimes committed against our citizens. While we respect our friends in Europe, welcome their investment in our state and appreciate their interest in our laws, Texans are doing just fine governing Texas.”

In your face, quiche eaters!