The Kitty-Driven Gospel

There's a new Bible translation only my cat could love:

"OH my, they oppended nuther sealz there wuz big ground shaky. Teh sunz got all darky and teh moonz wuz bluudy." (Revelation 6)

And that's how the world will end . . . for cats, anyway, according to a translated passage from the Book of Revelation at Lolcatbible.com.

Sure, the Internet has more than proven itself as an invaluable tool for research, communication and business. Still, sometimes the best features of the Web are the most banal -- namely those that let you kill time online while at work or school. Perhaps no other online project of the moment is greater testament to this than the Lolcat Bible Translation Project ( www.lolcatbible.com).

Thanks to thousands of slacking office workers, procrastinating students and cat lovers worldwide with fast DSL connections at the ready, over 30% of both the New Testament and Old Testament have been translated into "lolcat" speak, a.k.a. "lolspeak." It's based on the popular Internet meme and subsequent diversionary website Lolcat.com (and, lately, the even more popular Icanhascheezburger.com), where users upload pictures of their pets with embedded words in a "cute" cat-speak (example: "um, hai, yur home early!").

And while the Bible has been translated before into Net-bred English variants (most notably an ebonics version of the Good Book), the Lolcat Bible Translation Project aims to be the first Bible a cute kitten might comprehend.

When those nine lives are over, you want your cat prepared to go to the big litter box in the sky.