Global Warming Killed Nessie!

In what is easily the dumbest global warming article to come along yet, an American monster hunter is claiming that global warming has killed the Loch Ness monster:

LEGENDARY Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years.

The 85-year-old American will make one last trip in a bid to find the elusive beast.

After almost four decades of fruitless expeditions, he admitted: "Unfortunately, I'm running out of age."

World War II veteran Robert has devoted almost half his life to scouring Loch Ness. ...

Since then, he has been obsessed with tracking down the creature with a staggering array of hi-tech equipment. It was this gear that took the famous "flipper" picture that year which created a stir around the world.

Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.

He still wants to check almost 100 contacts on the floor of the loch, believing one may be the monster's remains.

Apparently Nessie didn't meet Darwin's requirements for survival. That's the way it goes sometimes.