Hillary Clinton for President

As you know, I'm not a fan of John McCain, and so far in the campaign he hasn't given me a good reason to vote for him. I previously stated that I could never support him for president, and I imagine that will still be true in November.

And so, I must make the difficult choice of my candidate as our nation's next leader. We've all seen the video from John McCain's first national campaign ad showing him as a POW. Anybody can lie in bed, smoke cigarettes and answer easy questions. Courage, my friends, is getting off a plane after a harrowing corkscrew landing, greeting a little Bosnian girl with smiles and hugs while sniper bullets crease the sky over the heads of you, your daughter, a comedian and a guitar player, all the while appearing as though you haven't got a care in the world. That's the stuff presidents are made of.

And who do you want the world to see living in the White House? Do you want them to see a doddering old white-haired guy who's faithful to his much younger and better looking bride, or do you want to see a woman whose husband thinks that foreign relations means having relations with foreigners? That's the way new Kyoto treaties are created.

And do you want a president who seeks cooperation and companionship from his political enemies, or do you want a president whose very appearance causes her enemies to think of a whole number of words that rhyme with "itch" (come to think of it, she probably makes them itch too - a bonus!).

And of course, you can't deny that she has tremendous fighting spirit. How else could she continue in the face of perhaps a 5% chance of prevailing in the primary, all the while damaging her party and its likely nominee in the general election? She's got more testosterone than all the diarists at the DailyKos combined.

It is for all these reasons and many more, that on this first day of April, 2008, I heartily endorse Hillary Clinton for President of the United States. Long live the queen.