Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

Cell Phones May Put Unborn at Risk, Study Says
The unborn definitely should not have cellphones. You should wait until they're in junior high school like we did.

Ailing Kennedy Awaits Test Results
Anything over .08 is legally drunk.

Millions of Tiny Starfish Discovered In Undersea Volcano
Today's special: Starfish Fricassee

Tiger Woods, Obama Make 'Fittest Guys' List
I guess giving up a lifelong smoking habit just a few months ago finally put Obama over the top.

McCain Rebuffs Dobson: Will Evangelicals Bolt?
Who made Dobson the evangelical's king?

Viguerie: Republican Leaders Must Resign
Hard to argue with that.

Reuters to cut 140 journalist jobs...
They've got journalists at Reuters?

Huckabee: I Want to Be McCain's VP
Voters: Not in a million years.

Clinton Sits Through Sermon About Adultery...
Bill wasn't there. He had a date.