9/11/01 - Jan's Story

From the 9/11 Reader's Project - here's Jan's story:

9/11/01 was a most beautiful fall day here in NE OH, just like in NYC. The sky was vivid blue. We love these kind of days - 75 and sunny - winter brings battleship gray skies off Lake Erie, so the morning was remarkable already. My husband was just being cleared/background checked for new employment thus was uncharacteristically home that day awaiting word of his start date. He was the one that was watching the TV morning shows and first saw the breaking news.

He immediately yelled for me. (I am a closet New Yorker formerly being from that state.) I am in love with NYC. We were horrified to see the actual burning first WT Tower hit, then see immediate replays of the plane. Our background stunned chatter was along the lines of 'how could a plane get so off course?' How tragic! What a devastating unintentional accident! We talked of how many 1000's of people were in the building. And then as if the second plane were mocking our thoughts, in real time, it hit the other tower. Obviously it was then we knew this was a hijacking. We were mortified.

I was in an even greater level of horrific shock when I saw something I never thought could happen, the towers topple over. I weep just talking about it - the heartbreak for the victims wherever they were, and for those families. This is not the way life should be. Later we would found out that our baseball coach who was on a one day visit there was a WTC victim. His memory lives on in our town in so many ways..... We turned on the radio and listened intently and watched TV in a state of shock.

Speechless. I am not sure of the order, but we became aware of Flight 93 crash. PA is the next state over. We ran outside. Were there more in the air? What about our 3 children all in the same school? Should I go get them? Other neighborhood families had the same thoughts, we gathered outside and talked of our disbelief, fear, confusion. I wanted to react and call school, but I waited knowing they did not need screaming mothers on the phone.

Eventually the children came home at the usual time and asked us if we heard the news. They were very anxious to talk to us. They needed us as much as we needed them. The school had maintained their course as best they could 'till dismissal. That day was unique in that I had a Cub Scout Den meeting planned at school. I called our families and said we would not meet at school (I was so very uncertain as to exactly the role the public buildings played in this attack - the fog of confusion in battle I guess) and the school would be closed.. I also told the families that we could cancel if they wanted, I would do whatever their comfort level and desire was. Personally, I did not want to cancel; we ultimately held our meeting in our backyard.

My families came - we focused ourselves on the news of the day, Pres. Bush as a Cub Scout, etc. and basically shared a patriotic theme. I would not let these terrorists strip us of our country and our freedom - we would not submit. I felt it fitting that on such a horrible day we honor our country and its loyal servants. It would make us better citizens. Our meeting was poignant actually. I was so glad we held our course and continued on. That is our heritage. I know it was just a Den meeting, and sounds small, but in our shock and disbelief we stayed the course for the children. That was important to me.

Later on at Ground Zero, Pres. George Bush made one fantastic and inspiring speech. That will always be the setting in which I will frame my memory of him. I cried for my country that day, for my deceased parents and grandparents who fought so hard for our freedom. It was for many reasons that this event only served to strengthen my personal feelings for just how much I love the USA and will do as much as I can to preserve our heritage and freedom. In closing, we travel by Shanksville, PA back and forth as it is just off the highway on the way to our son's college. The rolling meadows evoke a calmness for reflection. I always say a prayer.