Today's Quick Headlines

Some quick hits on today's headlines:

U.K. Chef Gets 30 Years for Killing, Eating Gay Lover
You always eat the ones you love.

Michigan Man Arrested for Car Wash Vacuum Sex
I've heard of bi-sexual, but not bi-mechanical.

Six Dead in Fish Knife Rampage
Fish with knives are never a good idea.

Christmas Eve Killer Wanted to Die, Now Doesn't
Too bad his victim didn't get to choose.

Rays Beat Red Sox, Advance to World Series
Could this be the year of the underdog?

Missing Wallet Returned After 60 Years
The $20 bill in the wallet is now worth $8,000.

Church Burns Pornos Before 'Holy Hose-Down'
It's a little drastic, but it kept the witches out of Salem.

Thirty years of warmer temperatures go poof
The theory of man-made global warming goes poof.